Them Both
by HannaBF
Summary: Annabeth muses on her feelings for the two men of her life, Luke and Percy. Going from the day she met each to the present. Settled somewhere in BotL, after the meeting with Janus. First PJO story, please read and review so I can know how I'm doing.


_Disclaimer__: Rick Riordan is the man who owns these guys. I'm the girl who plays with them occasionally. _

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><p>She was only a kid when they met.<p>

Just a little girl, loose in life, on the run from the only home she had ever known, grieving for a family she had never truly had, standing face to face with a future that promised only pain and hurt. She was lost. She was scared. She was alone.

And then they came.

She didn't trust them at first, but that changed quickly. They were kind and sweet and _cared_ for her. No one, not even her own father, had ever done that. And it was all she had ever truly needed. Soon they were a family. Not a traditional one, but that was okay for her. It was the first she had, where she didn't feel like an outsider, and she wouldn't have it any differently.

She didn't love him right away. Not in _that_ way, at least. No, she hadn't looked at him as a possible romance. He was her brother, her protector. He was her friend.

And then Thalia died.

That was like a knife being plunged into her heart. She could feel a piece of her own soul dying along, going with that brave girl that sacrificed herself to save her friend's life. And she knew, every time she looked at Luke, that he felt the same void, perhaps even stronger than her. They grew even closer, somehow, because they needed each other to get over, to move on. They needed each other to learn to be happy again.

And they did, or at least she did, and thought they both had. Her friend's death still hurt, as fresh as it had been on the first day, but she learned to live with it, to be happy and sad at the same time. To mourn the past and have hopes in the future. And hopes she had.

The Camp was filled with possibilities for her, everywhere she looked. There was information to satiate her thirst of knowledge. There was Chiron, who became more of a paternal figure to her then her father. And, of course, there was Luke.

He was still her best friend, the one she looked for when she needed. And she was, she knew, his little sister. For a while, that was fine with her.

But she grew, and things changed. Luke was no longer the big brother in her eyes. She started to understand why Thalia's death had affected him such. What feeling had he been nurturing for her that had led him to such pain when she was gone. She understood, because inside of her the same feelings grew.

She was starting to fall for him. For the first time, she couldn't just go to him when she had a problem or talk to him about anything. Just seeing him made her blush. All the time, she expected him to come to her and confront her about her sudden behavior. But his mission came, and he never had the chance.

When he came back, he was changed. It wasn't just the scar on his face, though. She wasn't entirely sure about what, precisely, had changed, but she could feel it either way. He was still the same kind, friendly guy, but something was different on him, like an aura that surrounded his body. Something about the way his eyes got when he thought no one was looking, or the moments where he suddenly grew quiet in a conversation, made her realize that he was not the same person he was when he left. She didn't know what caused that change, however, because he didn't talk to her about it. Actually, he wasn't really talking to her all that much. It wasn't as if he started treating her bad or cold, just pushing away slightly. It hurt a bit, but she didn't get angry. Hadn't she been doing the same to him? Plus, when they did talk, she could see the honest affection in his eyes. He still loved her, in his way. He was just going forward with his life.

And so she did the same, still loving him from afar. She yearned for challenges. She wanted a mission, so she could go out in the real world. She wanted her shot at success and she wanted to prove herself. But she was told to wait, told she wasn't ready. That she would need someone else to come before she could leave.

She waited all right, but it was not a calm waiting. In every new camper, she hoped she would find her chance to chase her dreams, but neither of them brought it along. Time passed and that one person, the one who held the one thing she expected the most on their shoulders, the one she expected for, was yet to arrive.

But when the Olympus went in jeopardy, she knew her moment was close. She could feel it approaching, like she felt the storms that never penetrated the limits of Camp. If only he would come, this mysterious person she so desperately needed…

And, finally, he did, like a hurricane crashing into her life. Thinking about it, he always did resembled a hurricane, from the moment he killed the Minotaur or the moment he blew up the bathrooms. He had been like a whirlwind from the beginning, messing up everything on her life, even her believes. Like the one that said a child of Athena and a child of Poseidon couldn't be friends. She didn't really like him, though, at first. When the news of his parentage came, she had even more fuel to her dislike than before, even if it proved that he was the one she had been waiting for. She even thought that she hated him, for a while.

They had to save each other's lives many times before she realized that she didn't.

He soon became one of the best friends she ever had, even though she wanted to kill him at times. He just had that talent to annoy her no one else had. They went on their mission and came back with honor, and she had everything. Sadly, it didn't last long.

When Luke betrayed them, she couldn't believe on how much it hurt. It was like Thalia's death all over again, but so much worst, because Luke wasn't death. He hadn't been taken away against his will, or because he thought it was his only choice, like Thalia. He chose to go against everything she believed in, in what she had thought _he_ believed in. He chose to leave her behind.

She was angry, too. How could she not? He had sworn to protect her, to be there for her, and now he had left her. More than that, he threatened to hurt her, to _kill _her. She could've had expected that from anyone, even Chiron, even _Percy, _for the love of the gods, before she did it from Luke. But he was the one to do it.

And it was so confusing, because she loved him and hated him at the same time, and yet, when her heart beated faster, it wasn't Luke making it do it. It wasn't his blond hair and his blue eyes making her stomach clutch anymore – not alone, at least -, but black hair and green eyes that belonged to someone she just couldn't think of this way. Especially not after she saw Luke at Mount Tam. She knew none of her friends understood, not even Thalia, who came back from the dead only to find her everything she had left behind upside down, but she _had_ to save him. He was under the spell of Kronos, tricked by him. She knew that the Luke that she loved was still down there, and he needed her.

She was hurt by one and was hurting the other, but she knew she couldn't stop it, because she had to save Luke, no matter what Percy felt or how bad what he felt affected her. She just had to do it. Because Luke had once been her best friend, and he would do the same for her, had the situation been inverted. Because she knew that, even if she failed, she would never forgive herself if she didn't try it.

But something else worried her mind. She knew that, if she succeeded in getting Luke back, that would mean losing Percy. And the doubt that loomed her soul was: Would having Luke be enough? And not all the wisdom of the world could answer her that question.

She was starting to doubt it, when the thought of Percy with other girls could make her so jealous and concerns about his safety lived in her heart. But could she really live without Luke, her first love, the first man that truly worried about her?

The truth was, she could only have one, because to save Luke, she would have to give up on Percy, who meant more and more to her by the day, and to have Percy, she would have to let go of Luke, the person she loved for so long. But how could she possibly make that choice? How could she choose between the one who always told her the truth and the one that said all the right things? Between one's daring smile and the other's sweet one? Between the new and the old?

How could she possibly choose if she loved them both?

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><p><em>Hey, guys. This is just a little one-shot on the confusion going on inside Annabeth's head in the PJO series, especially BotL. Nothing much, really, but I was re-reading the books and the Muses called. Can't deny the Muses, right? <em>

_It's my first PJO fanfic, so I'm kind of nervous, but please review. Constructive criticism is the main reason I write this things for. _

_Just one more thing: I'm Brazilian, so my first language isn't English. If I let any mistakes pass, please warn me. _


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